When you Heal your Trauma it Helps Others Heal

'When you Heal your Trauma it Helps Others Heal' is contributed by Jess Verdier, owner of Sanctuary Online.

The word ‘heal’ is said to have come from old English hælan, 'to make whole'. I believe that the process of healing is coming back home to our true nature, connecting to our essence, remembering our wholeness, our soul/spirit, our divinity.

Hi, I’m Jess!

Things I love are feeling the warm sunshine rays on my skin, diving into the invigorating ocean waves, grounding my bare feet on the earth, honouring this sacred connection we have to nature and each other and this gift that is life.

I am a yoga and Pilates instructor as well as a pharmacist. I am passionate about the opportunity to help people improve their health, wellbeing, and overall quality of life - to live out each day feeling and being the best version of themselves. My hope is that you're able to connect to this sacred space inside of you, which is in each one of us. This place where you feel expansive, spacious, safe, supported, satisfied, whole, grounded, in gratitude, love, and at home in your heart. Through the methods of yoga, barre, Pilates, yin, pranayama (breathing exercises) and meditation, we have the tools to create the space to connect to the body, mind, and heart. Part of this journey is honouring yourself through all the phases, accepting all aspects of your being - the bliss and the grit, the light and the dark - loving yourself no matter what comes up. The more we can love and accept ourselves, the more we can love and accept each other. I am so excited to be on this journey with you. I look forward to meeting you on the mat.

Namaste xx

Connect to Jess:

Sanctuary Online: https://www.sanctuaryonline.co

Instagram: @jess.verdier & @sanctuaryonline.co

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jessyogapilates

Jess Verdier for healing ourselves heals others

'Hurt People Hurt People'

You’ve probably heard the saying 'hurt people hurt people' or 'misery loves company'. Typically, when we’re feeling pain or suffering, we become less conscious of the way we move through the world, of how we’re speaking and acting towards not only others, but also ourselves. We become more reactive and less responsive.

This isn’t something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. It's more about using it as an opportunity to create awareness. It's about observation without judgement, and recognising our reactiveness as a mechanism of protection, knowing that with conscious awareness we can change it or choose differently.

Feeling all Emotions, 'Good' and 'Bad'

When we feel vulnerable or are in a victim mindset, it's natural to want to push people away, to blame, to feel closed off, contracted, isolated and alone. This is 100% how I used to feel. The emotions of hurt, pain, sadness, anger, shame, guilt, and frustration, (you name it!) would be bubbling up inside me and I didn’t have a way of expressing them. I didn’t want to feel these ‘negative feelings’ and so I neglected them. Through this process, I was rejecting a part of myself and creating even more conflict and suffering inside of my being, although I didn’t realise that at the time. It would manifest as uncontrollable outbursts and reactions towards the people that were closest to me, those that I love.

I have now come to understand that all emotions are valid. They need to be felt in order for us to process and release them. They are part of this divine, human experience that we are ultimately here for. So, why wouldn’t we want to feel the FULL spectrum of higher and lower vibrational emotions? If we want to feel the highest of highs, then we must be able to feel the lowest of lows. Yes, it’s uncomfortable but when we are able to process them and liberate ourselves from them, there is growth and healing on the other side.

Trauma with a Capital 'T' or a Lowercase 't'

We all carry trauma, whether it's with a small ’t’ or a capital ’T’. It’s very much a part of life and I believe part of our purpose for being here is to overcome our negative samskaras. Samskaras is a Sanskrit word that can be translated to mean individual impressions, ideas, or actions. Taken together, our samskaras make up our conditioning. According to the yogis, the goal is to eliminate our negative samskaras while replacing them with positive ones to achieve enlightenment and be liberated from samsara, the ‘wheel of suffering’.

It can also be said that when we experience overwhelming suffering and the pain becomes too much, there can be a loss of self, the fragmentation or loss of part of our soul. We no longer feel like our usual self. The process of healing is the process of becoming whole again, creating a safe space so that you can feel, process, release, unravel from conditioning and come back to your truth. Healing is about remembering the essence of who you are at your heart, to come back into love.

If the idea of processing and healing from your trauma through writing appeals to you, then you will love Gail's writing program. Find out about it here: Writing to Heal: Metamorphosis.

Everything Happens for a Reason

Everything happens for a reason. Everything is always in perfect order. I believe that EVERYTHING is connected and contributing to the web of life. Because of this, it is important to be aware of our energy and what we are releasing into the world.

When things get difficult, it can be hard to believe that life is happening for us rather than to us.

We need to feel and go through life’s emotions. To support us, we equip ourselves with the tools that can serve the process of transforming our emotions - from pain into pleasure, suffering into liberation. There are many modalities that help our hearts to break through the process, to release, rebuild and help us keep a positive outlook on life, coming back into a state of wholeness no matter what is going on. For me, it has been a combination of yoga, embodiment practices, and journalling. At different times, one may be more effective than the other depending on what I'm moving through.


Journalling is a powerful way of expressing your thoughts and feelings as it helps you to better understand and process these without feeling self-conscious or fearful of other people's judgements.

This has been particularly useful to me when I:

  • am anxious or scared
  • have futile repetitive thoughts racing through my mind
  • am working to release limiting beliefs that have become obstacles
  • am seeking closure, clarity, or resolution of an issue with someone I care for dearly but am unable to speak with.

I also love the practice of writing down anything that I want to let go of, then burning the piece of paper and watching the energy be transformed by fire.

If you'd like to find out more about journalling and other types of writing as a practice to heal, you'll find this post interesting: FAQs How Writing Helps to Heal

Healed People Heal People

Last year, one of my mentors, Jess Clifford, said, “Hurt people hurt people,” then added, “Healed people heal people.” It empowered me to know that by showing up and doing the inner work I need to do, this will not only liberate me, but also help me be of greater service to others. When I understood that this process is bigger than just me, it gave me the courage to face my fears and trauma, no matter how uncomfortable it was. We are each on our own journey of healing, coming back to wholeness, and remembering our true nature.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

butterfly and cocoons for healing ourselves heals others

The Light of Awareness

The more we can shine the light of awareness on our shadows and process them, the more we are able to transmute the darkness, pain, and suffering into something that is purposeful and fulfilling. Once we process our emotions or trauma, the experience and wisdom we gain give us the capacity to have compassion towards others.

When you heal your trauma it helps others heal. When we walk the path of healing, we heal not only ourselves but the world around us.

Trust the process.

Photo Credits

Pixabay Pexels

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